All of the other boys were already sitting round their usual table when Eriane came into the eating room that night. The conversation died as soon as they saw him. Eriane did not look at any of them but silently came to the table and sat in his usual place between Wysire and Leil. Wysire was the first to break the silence.
“Eriane, are you alright?” he asked softly.
Eriane shook his head. “All I can say is that the sooner we are out of this place the better! May God grant that it be soon.”
“Eriane,” began Jaeger, “about that . . . .”
“If I wasn’t fully with you before, Jaeger, I certainly am now,” Eriane continued. “Anything that can be done to speed our escape, I will do!”
“Eriane!” interrupted Jaeger firmly. “Please, listen to me. You weren’t here last night, so you didn’t hear the latest . . . developments regarding our plans.”
Eriane was quiet then and looked at Jaeger expectantly.
“After our discussion on the night before last, Kandryl sent for me,” continued Jaeger. “He told me that our plans were futile, that there is nowhere that we can go where our words would not be heard. He said that although he would excuse us this time, any future plans would not go unpunished. There is to be no more talk of escape.”
Eriane stared at him wordlessly and expressionlessly.
“Give me your conclusion,” he said at last. “Slowly.”
Jaeger swallowed. “We’re not leaving here,” he said slowly.
Eriane lowered his head into his hands, resting his elbows on the table, and seemed to be trying very hard to control his emotions. Wysire reached out and placed a hand gently on Eriane’s shoulder.
“Eriane?” he asked softly. “Do you need to talk?”
Taking a deep breath, Eriane lowered his hands and looked up. The others were all watching him with concern, but he didn’t meet their eyes.
“Yes,” he said. “But I need to talk to all of you. If we’re not leaving here, then I don’t see how I can serve them any longer. I’m already living a lie as things stand. I convinced myself this afternoon that I could endure it for just a little longer, if necessary, until we could leave this place, but if we’re going to be here indefinitely . . . .” He shook his head. “I can’t do this.”
“Eriane, what’s wrong?” Jade began to ask, but Wysire motioned him to wait and to let Eriane speak as he wished.
“Faquire was right,” Eriane began, trying hard to keep his voice steady. “When we first came here, when we all first started to work for them, I was given research to do that dealt with the Vukasovians. I did it without question, and I still doubt that that research will be used for anything bad. But after that I was given a project to review that involved the Komislavian physique. The research had already been done; I was only supposed to verify it. I should have known then!” He stopped for moment before continuing. “The research was very well done,” he continued softly, “and I had very few corrections to make. I wish now that I had not even made those! At least then I would have had no part in it.” Eriane paused again, then swallowed. He still did not meet any of the eyes watching him. He continued slowly in a low voice, “Yesterday, I was shown the result of my work. They had used it to create a machine of torture, designed specifically and wholly for use on Komislavians.”
The other boys stared at him in horror. Eriane still did not look at them. Still speaking slowly and choosing his words carefully for the sake of the youngest two, Eriane went on to describe the small machine that he had helped to design. He then smiled bitterly.
“Faquire, who predicted that this would happen, was granted the dubious honor of being the first to try it—”
Eriane’s voice broke and he again buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking now with suppressed sobs.
Wysire put his arm around Eriane, and the others looked on in horror and pity. They glanced at one another silently, none knowing what to say.
“Drayl said that it was no more than a toy,” Eriane continued quietly once he could speak again. “And really I’m sure that compared to what he is used to using, it wasn’t that bad. But that doesn’t change what it is!”
Eriane took another deep breath and raised his head again, keeping his eyes closed this time. After a moment, he opened them and turned to look at Wysire.
“Faquire was right,” he said. “He warned us that if it was possible to misuse even our talents, the Vukasovians would find a way. I believe him now. I don’t see how it can be safe for either of us to continue to work for them. I certainly don’t see how I can continue. I thought that perhaps I could if escape was not too far away, but if that is no longer even a hope, then I don’t see how I can continue at all.”
“Faquire will forgive you,” said Wysire softly.
Eriane looked at him silently for a moment. “Maybe he will,” he said. “But I haven’t yet told you all that happened. Faquire was yesterday, and that was why I didn’t come last night; I had to be alone. But Faquire was only the test. Drayl said that the machine was meant for someone of great value, and today I found out exactly who he meant. They used it again on Djaisiuk.”
Leil gave a short exclamation of shock. The others all stared at Eriane in disbelief. None of them seemed willing to accept this last statement.
"Are you sure?" asked Jaeger at last.
"Why would they do something like that to Djaisiuk?" asked Jade. "He was working for them. It doesn't make any sense."
"Djaisiuk wouldn't let them," said Sandy. "They couldn't."
Eriane looked around at each of them.
"You don't believe me," he said.
Wysire spoke first. "Eriane," he said, "you're not well. You are obviously under an extreme amount of stress."
"It was Djaisiuk!" Eriane insisted. "It was terrible to see, and I know that it has affected my emotional stability, but it was him!"
"Faquire, I could understand," said Jaeger. "He refuses to help them. But not Djaisiuk. He's too valuable."
"Why do you suppose that they wanted to test it first?" demanded Eriane. "Drayl told me that it was someone of great import whom they wished to subject to that . . . device of horror. He said that nothing must go wrong; he must not suffer any long-term damage, only extreme, albeit temporary, pain. It was Djaisiuk."
“Perhaps he isn’t working for them now,” suggested Cycil. “Maybe he decided to stop, and they want him to continue. That would make sense.”
“If he isn’t working for them now, then I won’t either,” said Leil. “Even if he won’t give us his reasons and doesn’t want us to follow him, I’ll still do as he does.”
“But why would he have changed now?” asked Detrin, frowning. “He did seem to agree to work for them at first; why the sudden change?”
“It may not have been sudden,” suggested Wysire. “Remember that it has been several days since we last saw him.”
“If he has changed his mind, then I want to know why,” said Jaeger slowly.
“We’d all like to know that, I’m sure,” said Jade. “But nobody ever really knows why he does anything.”
“No, I mean it this time,” replied Jaeger firmly. “If he is no longer serving the Vukasovians, then I intend to find out why.”
The other boys looked at Jaeger in surprise. Even Eriane raised his eyes.
“I mean to ask him,” Jaeger continued. “Tonight.”
“You can’t,” said Jade, shaking his head. “Ignoring the fact that we’re not supposed to question him, you don’t even know where he is. Remember that we tried to find him once, or at least I did. They won’t tell us where he is.”
“Kandryl will,” replied Jaeger. “I’ll tell him that I must and will see Djaisiuk, and anyone who wishes is welcome to come along with me. He will let us see him, or I, for one, will go along with Leil in this: I will not work any more for them until I’ve seen and spoken with Djaisiuk.”
Jaeger looked around at all of them, and then stood up from the table. Leil immediately stood too, and Jade and Detrin followed suit. One by one, the remaining boys slowly rose to their feet as well, though most still looked a bit uncertain.
“Do you really think that it’s possible that they’ll let us see him?” asked Eriane.
“We can certainly try,” said Wysire. “And I think it worth the attempt.”
"But what would I say to him? I couldn't face him! Not after what I helped to do to him."
"You can, Eriane," said Wysire, taking Eriane by the arm. "You can, and you will."
“Alright then,” said Jade, turning to Jaeger. “Lead on.”
It was doubtless a strange sight: eight Komislavian boys walking in a group down the halls after working hours. Jaeger had little doubt that word would be sent on to Kandryl before they arrived, but he didn’t care. Walking silently and determinedly, he led the group to Kandryl’s quarters.
Kandryl had told the boys before that he was always available to them. They were free to come to him whenever they chose. He wanted to always know what was happening with each of the boys. He had to be prepared for whatever might happen with any of them in the future, though he did not share this fact with them. And, though he certainly cared nothing for them as anything more than workers and test subjects, he wanted each of them to think that he truly cared what they felt.
The boys rarely spoke to Kandryl unless addressed by him, and none of them had ever before sought his presence unasked. Eight of them at once entering the large room in which he was working was a strange, new sight. Kandryl looked up at them in mild surprise, then, seeing that they wished to speak with him, led them into a smaller workroom away from the noise and movement of the larger rooms. Seating himself behind the small desk in the room, Kandryl looked over the boys silently and expectantly, waiting for them to speak.
“We want to see Djaisiuk,” said Jaeger abruptly.
Kandryl looked at Jaeger for a moment as if expecting him to continue.
“I’m afraid that he will be asleep by now,” replied Kandryl at last. “Perhaps another day would be better.”
“This early?” asked Jade incredulously. “Why would he be asleep already?”
“He works on a different time schedule than do the rest of you,” explained Kandryl patiently. “He rises earlier, hence he retires earlier.”
“Then . . .” began Leil quietly. “Then he is working for you? He’s not a prisoner?”
“Of course he’s not a prisoner,” smiled Kandryl. “Your friend is a very valuable worker, and he works well.”
“They why did you—” began Eriane, but cut off suddenly. “Why did . . . what happened today . . . happen?”
Kandryl’s smile faded. “That was the unfortunate result of . . . various happenings. I am sorry that you had to witness it, but understand that I have every hope that it will not need to be repeated.”
“Then let us speak with him,” said Jaeger. “If he’s not a prisoner, then there should be no objection.”
“As I said, he is asleep,” said Kandryl, smiling again now.
“We will wake him, if necessary,” Jaeger replied firmly. “But we must see him tonight.”
Kandryl's eyebrows rose slightly, and he glanced over all of them. “I’m sure that you know him better than do I,” he said. “Are you sure that he would not mind being disturbed?”
Most of the other boys looked uncomfortable at this, but Jaeger remained firm.
“Jaeger, we can wait till tomorrow,” Sandy whispered.
“He wouldn’t like to be disturbed,” agreed Cycil quietly.
“No, we’ll not wait,” said Jaeger. “We will see him, whether he wants it or not.”
“Jaeger is right,” said Jade. “We must see him tonight.”
Most of the other boys seemed hesitant, but slowly they all agreed.
Kandryl looked at all of them for a moment, his eyes resting longest on Eriane, then said, “So be it.”
Kandryl rose and went to the door of the room. He then summoned a guard and instructed him to take the boys to a certain area to which Kandryl gave careful directions. He did not himself accompany them. Rather, once they had left his quarters, Kandryl went to his private security room wherein he had access to cameras in every room in the facility. Here he watched Djaisiuk’s room and listened to see what would happen.
The boys were led to Djaisiuk’s workroom and then shown the door within that led to his sleeping chamber. The guard did not enter, but waited outside of the workroom with the other guard posted there, allowing the boys the choice of going on or of turning back. Even Jaeger seemed to reconsider when faced with the necessity of going in himself and waking Djaisiuk. However, he called to mind the reasons that had brought them there and moved forward.
When the boys opened the second door, they found a very small, dark room, not much larger than a closet, in which a little bed which stretched from one wall to the other made up fully one-third of the space. Djaisiuk was lying on his back on the bed, covered with a thin coverlet, fast asleep. Jaeger manually activated the light in the small room as the other boys carefully fitted themselves into the room until there was practically no floor space left.
The light woke Djaisiuk, and he opened his eyes. He blinked and lay for a very brief moment looking straight up. He then turned to look at the visitors. His expression did not change on seeing eight of the boys of his ship crowded into his own small sleeping chamber. He simply raised himself on his right elbow and looked them over silently, patiently waiting for them to state their reason for being there.
Several of the boys, on seeing him looking so perfectly normal, felt twinges of guilt for having disturbed him. None had ever been into Djaisiuk’s personal room on the ship, and, though this was not the ship, it still felt like a great breach in propriety to have entered his sleeping chamber without invitation, particularly when he had been asleep. They were all overjoyed to see him, it is true, particularly after having had no word of him for five days, but the fact remained in each of their minds that he had not requested their presence: they were forcing themselves upon him uninvited at, quite probably, an inconvenient time.
For a moment, no one spoke. Finally (with a little difficulty, due to the cramped quarters), Jaeger moved forward a little.
“Are you alright, Djaisiuk?” Jaeger asked.
Djaisiuk looked at him, but did not answer. This was his way of saying, ‘Please rephrase your question,’ and Jaeger understood. If it was a question that Djaisiuk did not want to answer, he would ignore it. Here, he acknowledged the question but did not answer it.
Jaeger cleared his throat. “We, um, heard about what happened this morning. We . . . just wanted to ask you . . . .” He trailed off, beginning to lose confidence.
Here Eriane suddenly stepped forward, almost knocking Detrin into Jade as he did so. “Djaisiuk, may I examine your foot?” he asked abruptly.
Djaisiuk looked at him for a moment, his face forever impassive, and then sat up. He silently pulled back the light coverlet to reveal his right foot. The outside of the ankle was shiny from the sealing gel that had been spread over his small wounds, and through it could be seen many small red dots, reaffirming Eriane’s story. There were several sharp intakes of breath at this sight, the story suddenly becoming much more real to them all. Eriane alone did not react visibly but simply moved carefully forward, knelt beside the bed, and gently took Djaisiuk’s foot in his hands.
After looking it over carefully and very gently feeling to assure himself (as well as he could without a scanner) that indeed no serious damage had been done, Eriane gently kissed Djaisiuk’s ankle. Djaisiuk had watched the whole proceeding with an impassive face. As Eriane kissed him however, it appeared to Jaeger, who had been watching closely, that the slightest shade of emotion (he could not quite identify whether it was compassion, sadness, emotional pain, or perhaps even fear) touched Djaisiuk’s expression, but it was gone in an instant.
“I’m sorry,” Eriane whispered, his eyes lowered. “They used me and my work to help to create that horrible device. Can you forgive me?”
Eriane looked up at him pleadingly, but now there was no change in Djaisiuk’s expression.
“Please, Djaisiuk,” Eriane begged. “At least tell me that you are not angry with me. Are you?”
Djaisiuk had not taken his eyes from Eriane. “No,” he said in a low hoarse voice.
Eriane struggled to hold back tears. “I’m so sorry!” he said softly, again and again. “I’m so sorry.”
Djaisiuk turned to look at the other boys, almost as if to say, ‘Was there anything else?’
“Djaisiuk, we came to ask whether today changed anything for you,” said Jaeger, his confidence returning at the sound of Djaisiuk’s voice, so rarely heard, and the glimpse of emotion in his face, never before seen (at least by Jaeger himself). “After today, will you still continue to work for them?”
This time Djaisiuk did not answer; he looked away, ignoring the question, indicating that he had no wish to answer. Jaeger swallowed, but did not persist.
“Will you tell us why they would do such a horrible thing to you?” asked Sandy quietly.
Again, Djaisiuk ignored the question.
“Is it likely that they may do the same to us?” asked Cycil.
Djaisiuk did not answer immediately, but he did look at Cycil. After a moment, he said simply, “No.”
“Djaisiuk,” said Wysire, speaking for the first time. “May I come and see you tomorrow?”
Djaisiuk looked at him, but did not answer.
“That is,” Wysire tried again, “would you like for me to come tomorrow?” He was offering his services as a counselor, and Djaisiuk understood. Djaisiuk had never sought Wysire’s services even when they were on the ship, but Wysire wanted to offer them now just the same, seeing what Djaisiuk had just been through.
“No,” came Djaisiuk’s firm reply.
If it had been any of the other boys, Wysire would have insisted, understanding how unhealthy it can be to one’s emotional well-being to be left alone at such a time. With Djaisiuk, however, Wysire had no authority, and he knew it. True, here he had no authority over any of them, but there was still the unspoken trust between them as there had been on the ship, even though they were no longer bound by the same rules.
“I know that it is late, and I’m sure that you want to go back to sleep,” said Jaeger, “but I do have one more question, if you would answer it. On the ship, you told us not to follow your lead, indicating that we all ought to do whatever we thought was best. Has today changed that at all?”
Djaisiuk looked him in the eye for a very short moment, and then looked away without responding.
“Djaisiuk, please,” Jaeger persisted. “Won’t you at least answer this? Do you still suggest that we follow whatever course we feel to be best?”
No response.
“Djaisiuk,” Eriane began hesitantly. “I’ve seen Faquire.”
Djaisiuk turned his head again to look at Eriane, but this statement produced no visible change in his expressionless face.
“He was used to test the machine that they used on you today,” Eriane continued.
Still there was no reaction.
“Djaisiuk, they used my research to help to design that horrible device!” Eriane exclaimed. “And now I don’t know whether I should continue to work for them or not. If this is the kind of use to which they intend to put my work, then I want no part of it! But I am still afraid of them. I don’t know what to do. Please, won’t you give me some advice?”
“No,” came the answer. Djaisiuk’s voice was a very little bit clearer now, having spoken four words in the space of five minutes, even if they were all the same word. He closed his eyes as he spoke this last time, however, and raised a hand to his throat, massaging it lightly to relieve some of the soreness. After a moment, he opened his eyes, glanced over the boys, then covered his foot again and lay down. He closed his eyes and exhaled as if preparing for sleep.
Eriane lowered his own eyes in defeat. The other boys looked on silently. Wysire was the first to break the silence.
“Djaisiuk is, no doubt, tired,” he said. “We ought to let him sleep.”
The others could not help but acknowledge that Wysire was right. They each said a quiet goodnight to Djaisiuk, some wishing him well, others very briefly expressing hopes that they would see him again soon, and then left the room. Eriane lingered longest, wanting to stay, but knowing that he could not. Once the last of the others had left the room, Eriane too walked out. Jaeger then turned off the light, murmuring a short apology for having disturbed him, thanked him for allowing them to talk with him, and quietly closed the door.
It was a silent group that walked down the halls as they all went to their respective sleeping quarters that night. A few offered a quiet goodnight to some of the others, but no other conversation was exchanged. There was too much on each of their minds.
In his own room, Kandryl leaned back from the screen, very pleased. He had seen and heard all that had gone on in the room. He had learned more about Djaisiuk from watching his interaction in ten minutes with the boys than from five days of talking to Djaisiuk himself. Djaisiuk had spoken very little to them, but they had seemed to have expected this. None were surprised or offended by his silence and obstinacy. He had refused even to offer comfort to the boy that had hurt him and now begged forgiveness on bended knee. Why? Apparently it was simply because he disliked talking. He was selfish, Kandryl decided, and did only as he pleased. He had not even tried to hide the fact that the very small amount of talking that he had done had caused him pain. He had not seen his comrades for five days, and yet after less than ten minutes of their presence, he had made it very clear that he wanted them to leave. And yet none of the boys had been offended by this. They had not even been surprised. This was Djaisiuk, and that was simply the way that he is, it seemed. So perhaps his refusal to submit to Kandryl in this area was not outright rebellion and willfulness, but rather it may be simply a personality trait which his pride did not allow to change even in the environment in which he was now placed. And if this was indeed a part of who Djaisiuk was, if he was not acting a part to deceive his captors, then did Kandryl truly need to change him?
On a whim, Kandryl called up the security recording of his conversation with Djaisiuk on that first night. He watched it carefully, taking into account now all that he had learned and observed of Djaisiuk over the past few days. Looking back now, it seemed almost strange that Djaisiuk had spoken as much as he had, that night. Doubtless he had answered in the beginning, hoping that Kandryl would have enough and leave him be. Then, when Kandryl had not done so, Djaisiuk had fallen into his stubborn silence, refusing to say anything whatsoever.
So this was, in truth, not rebellion, it seemed, or at least no more than he would probably have displayed on his own planet. Kandryl could trust Djaisiuk, if this area was the only cause for his doubt. Indeed, Kandryl had to admit to himself that it certainly appeared to be the best course of action to take for the time being. He decided that the tests of the mind drug would still be executed, but it seemed less likely now that it would eventually be used on Djaisiuk. For the time being, Kandryl would trust him. He would still be carefully observed, but he would be allowed to work without hindrance. At least, he would be allowed to work unhindered, so long as he continued to give no other cause for suspicion.
The single factor which Kandryl did not consider was that Djaisiuk knew that Kandryl would be watching. Djaisiuk understood Kandryl far better than Kandryl understood Djaisiuk. He knew that Kandryl would want to know all about him in order to gauge any weaknesses that Djaisiuk might have. It was not possible that the boys could all have come to his room on the same night without Kandryl’s knowledge. Surely such a visit would have piqued Kandryl’s interest. It was only logical and perfectly obvious then that he would watch and listen to the proceedings. Even if he had not had prior knowledge of the visit, he would surely be informed and be able to watch and to listen to the event himself at a later time.
The boys had not been surprised at Djaisiuk’s actions (or lack thereof), but this was because they had come with no expectations. No one could predict how Djaisiuk would act in any setting, although the guess most likely to be correct was that he would do nothing. This was what they had almost expected, and this was very nearly what he had done. Jaeger alone had been surprised, because he alone had caught that fleeting glimpse of emotion on Djaisiuk’s face, but he did not share this. Djaisiuk had been swift to hide it, knowing that if Kandryl suspected that he cared for the other boys more than he did for himself, Kandryl would be sure to use them in such a way as to gain control over Djaisiuk.
Djaisiuk had already determined that he would not allow any of the other boys to be damaged because of himself, if it could be in any way prevented. He realized now, however, that it could not all be prevented. Eriane’s news of Faquire was painful, because it showed that Kandryl was, in a sense, using at least one of the boys against him, and possibly more. Might not Creole and Christopher also be used in such a way? But against this, there was nothing that he could do. Hence, he would not allow it to affect his work. Their ultimate escape was the only sure way of taking them all out of harm’s reach. At least for now.
Djaisiuk had communicated all that was necessary to the other boys without raising undue suspicion by either too much or too little speech. He had assured Eriane that he bore him no ill will, and he had informed Wysire that he had no need of counseling. He was confident that Wysire would derive from this that Djaisiuk was sufficiently well mentally, but that Kandryl would draw the conclusion that this was due to pride. In short, he had assured his fellow crew members that he was well, but he had done so without acting differently from how Kandryl had come to expect him to act towards Kandryl himself. The boys had not been surprised by his words or lack thereof, and if they had not been satisfied, at least they did not press the matter. They had been placated, and Kandryl had been baited.
The scene had been played, and Djaisiuk had only to wait to see what effect, if any, it had produced on Kandryl.
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